“do you HAVE to suffocate me, Mistress?”

“Mistress, I’d really like to see you for a session but I’m not into breathplay…”

As a Mistress, I get this more often than you’d think and I find it quite entertaining. I am very niche in my love of breathplay and associated activities (like intox). When I started making clips, I stumbled across the executrix genre and thought it would be entertaining to do a clip like this as I really do love horror, B movies, grindhouse etc – I grew up watching femme fatales in different movies and found it far more up my alley. Those are now some of my most popular clips (along with intox). I don’t just offer this in real time Dominatrix sessions!

Breathplay and intox were, probably like executrix content, just something I tried and happened to have a skill for. When I set about as a professional Dominatrix, I had probably zero interest in any of them. Its also worth pointing out that when I set about pro-Domming I also had zero inclination as to how sadistic I actually am. I had an inkling that I could be quite cruel and definitely enjoyed toying with people for my own entertainment but it was just due to repeated sessions that I realised I was, in fact, genuinely sadistic. Right at the start I was very much aware that I was more interested in the psychological elements – I enjoyed the feeling of being in complete control. Then I realised that I very much enjoyed having men terrified of me, or completely incapable of being able to predict my behaviour. What I enjoyed then – and still enjoy now – was the psychological cruelty.

You will probably find, if you are relatively new to being a Dominatrix and stumbled across this blog somehow, that your own ‘personality’ as a Mistress develops and grows with both experience and confidence. When I first started out I was relatively generic and would not have described myself as having any particular niche. I was also – and this may come as a shock to some people – somewhat shy. You develop your personality only through experience.

I very much enjoy being able to create my own world – there is a creative streak to me that is simply crushed out by my regular job. I suppose some people may take up creative writing or an instrument but I always have to be different – I would much rather go film clips playing a femme fatale. There is an entertainment in these that most people pick up on immediately – I’d suspect a lot of people who repeat buy my clips do so in part because it radiates out of me that I am completely present and genuinely quite entertained by the whole thing. This has probably been the one thing that has always been consistent for me as a Dominatrix – if I am not entertained, if it does not inspire a hunger in me, I don’t see much point in it.

But no, you don’t have to be into breathplay/intox or even particularly “extreme” Domination to come see me for a session. These do make up the bulk of sessions that I get, with some people even travelling up from down south to see me (which I’m quite flattered about, so thank you) but I do get plenty of other requests. I don’t, if this is something that has floated through someone’s mind, see other scenes as being “less extreme” and therefore dull. Due to my overruling need for some kind of psychological stimulation in scenes, I am more drawn to energy than necessarily the fetish. A person who has a genuine craving for something has a lot of appeal for me. Corporal punishment is probably one of the least requested things I get but I have had very entertaining sessions with subs who strongly desire it. I have had incredibly stimulating sessions with people who want me to force them to give up information under the threat of my tawse or whip. The psychological element is always what I find most enticing; I am not necessarily drawn by the appliance of the session, for want of a better phrase.

As a Mistress, I seek power and control. This will always come for me through some kind of psychological or intellectual pursuit. The submissive may find this relinquishing of control via a physical outlet i.e. corporal punishment, pain etc, but for me in Domination sessions, the pleasure is always gained via your psychological submission.

If you capture my attention and suggest something that I find entertaining, you are about 50% there to meeting me as a Dominatrix.

I have also been asked in the past if I’m quite cold and ruthless as soon as someone walks in the door. Most people who have met me would probably tell you that I am one of the friendliest Dominatrixes they have ever met. I can be, and often am, ruthless in the course of a session but outside of sessions I am quite warm and friendly. In emails I am generally very warm and friendly – I have had people seek me out because they felt legitimately afraid of me, but at the same time found me approachable, or even funny. Very occasionally I may be asked to not be friendly as the sub can’t handle a Domme being pleasant to them, which I find amusing. There is no need for me to be rude to people unless they have been rude to me. There is also, again, the psychological power play in it for me; it makes the switch more cruel. My being pleasant and friendly can feel like the rug has been ripped out from under your feet when you are told that you are overdressed in my presence. I suspect the reason why I often end up doing quite extreme and unhinged scenes is because I am relatively approachable; people get the sense very quickly that I am just sadistic, not psychopathic.

I will do unhinged and vicious things to a person, but I still realise that they are a human being with feelings and will immediately stop if it is going too far for a sub to handle. People have tapped out with me on various ocassions and I will usually sit and chat to them until they either wish to end the session or have took enough of a break to continue. The last thing I want is for someone to leave my property then collapse in the street, or just feel that they have been quite genuinely abused.

I have to respect a person to dehumanise them and break them down to an object. If I do not care for your email, I will simply not see you or engage in sessions with you. There is no real incentive for me to see someone I dislike – I have never been very good at hiding how I feel and you would know quite rapidly that I find your presence unappealing. This does not work for anyone in a BDSM situation. I have to like you to want to hurt you.

Scenes also only work if everyone in it is having a good time. On the topic of being cold and ruthless, I have sometimes had people who love intox but need “encouraging” rather than cold and detached. There is a clip on my stores (IWC and LoyalFans) called Confession that I generally point people to if they want to get a genuine POV of me in these scenarios. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I have raised my voice in a session (and this is usually because the sub has said they like being shouted at by women). I have heard various times throughout my adult life that I have a very ASMR type voice. Or the very polite “oh my god, you have a really really nice voice”. You can just say you think my voice turns you on, you know. I do the low, husky-feminine, slightly mocking tone of voice very well. There is absolutely zero need for me to raise my voice or come across in an uncouth manner; I know I have a pleasant voice and I know how to utilise it for my own amusement.

Despite enjoying doing clips, I actually hate having my photo taken or being in front of a camera. The only upswing of editing videos of myself is that I realise that I come across very sweet and innocent a lot of the time; I have large, doe like brown eyes and I’m legitimately quite short in real life. I can appear very butter wouldn’t melt. Once again, I find it quite funny when the switch happens and the sadistic streak comes fully out. I made one executrix clip for someone where they were enthralled by the switch from sweet to seductive to sociopathic. This is something I find legitimately quite entertaining in most BDSM sessions I do – it does not have to be a scene of my acting out ending a man in order to see the switch in my personality.

In other words, no – you do not have to come and see me and engage in breathplay/intox. I get some people who really want to try it – I’ve been the first one to bag a few men. Most enjoy it, but it is worth pointing out that they have also sought me out with the desire to try it. A few don’t care for it and still prefer other activities. If you want to session with me and have zero desire for it, capture my attention. Sell your fetish to me: the more I become psychologically and intellectually engaged with something, the more I want to do it. Demonstrate to me how much this act or thing has a hold of you, and it will appeal to my desire for power. Unless I explicitly have said something is a no-go for me, or I don’t feel I can perform an act safely, you may be surprised by what BDSM sessions can attract my attention.

If you can capture my fantasy, you are already on a good streak.